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Автор Тема: "Исповедь" Гурджиева (отрывки)  (Прочитано 748 раз)

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"Исповедь" Гурджиева (отрывки)
« Ответ #1 : 18 БХЭвпСам 2013, 10:58:57 »
G. Gurdjieff


"The Herald of Coming Good"




<...>

<...> Today is the last day of the term I had assigned to myself twenty one years ago, — of the term during which I had, according to the special oath I took, bound myself in my conscience to lead in some ways an artificial life, modelled upon a programme which had been previously planned in accordance with certain definite principles.

<...>

My aim at that time was concentrated upon the creation of conditions permitting the comprehensive elucidation of one complicated and with difficulty explicable aspect of the question which had, already long before the beginning of this my artificial life, inhered in my being, and the necessity of whose final solution has, whether by the will of fate or thanks to the inscrutable laws of heredity, become and would, at the moment, appear to be the fundamental aim of my whole life and of the force motivating my activity.

I find myself obliged — in this, so to say, definitive statement as a writer, which will also have to serve among other things as a sort of "prospectus'' of the new phase of my unremitting activity for the welfare of my neighbours, — to give a brief outline of the history of the rise and development of those events and causes which were responsible for the formation in my individuality of the unquenchable striving to solve this question, which had, in the end, become for me what modern psychologists might term an "irresistible Mania".

<...>

At first, the manifestation of this strange "psychic factor" influenced only my mental activity, but did not derange me as a whole, that is, the effects of this manifestation did not hinder the established functioning of either my physical organism, with its psycho-nervous system, or the spirit, in the pure sense of the word, and I could, even in periods of pronounced resistance to the influence of this manifestation, by an effort of will or by an artificial stimulation of the mental and emotive associations proceeding within me, so control them as to prevent, so to speak, the "feeding" of this manifestation, and, in that way, to arrest the possibility of the continuation in my entirety of the formation of such undesirable impulses.

The degree of fusion with my Being and the dominating influence on my psyche of this peculiar factor were such, that, after four or five years, I fell completely under its power, and since then it has, like an "itching-itch", constantly compelled the whole of me or the separate parts of my general individuality, cost what it may, to elucidate everything for the cognition of all which can serve for the final solution of these, for me, cardinal questions.

<...>

This above-mentioned self-stimulation by means of my consciousness began to take place in me as a result of experiencing in all my Being a peculiar feeling, a mixture of "self-satisfaction" and "pride'', which arose in me every time I made accidental or half-foreseen verifications in the course of my further investigations of ever new and new facts concerning people's lives in general, facts about the existence of which I had never found a hint either in daily life or in my readings, although I had read almost everything existing about these questions in contemporary literature, as well as all the material from the past surviving until our day, — a literature accessible to me because of quite accidental circumstances of my life in a quantity far beyond the usual possibilities of the ordinary man.

<...>

Although I did not succeed until this period in elucidating anything, I never lost hope that somewhere, and at some time, I should finally meet people who would explain to me or at least direct my state of mind to corresponding thoughts and considerations, which would help me to resolve for myself clearly and satisfactorily this, for me, fateful question.

Living in this way until that year, that is, absorbing all external impressions and experiencing them inwardly in connection almost only with this mania of mine, and outwardly occupying myself with all kinds of professions and handicrafts to the end, on the one hand, of obtaining means of livelihood and, on the other, of mastering, according to the capacity inherent in me since childhood, every possible kind of human craft as yet unknown to me, but chiefly to the end of adapting myself in a more or less corresponding way to the particular conditions of the moment, conditions which I frequently changed in order to realize this inner aim of mine, I arrived then, in the above mentioned year, at the definite conclusion that it would be utterly impossible to find out what I was looking for among my contemporaries and therefore decided one day to abandon everything and to retire for a definite period into complete isolation, away from all manifestations of the outer world, and to endeavour by means of active reflections to attain to this myself or to think out some new ways for my fertile researches.

This took place during my stay in Central Asia, when, thanks to the introduction of a street-barber, whom accidentally met and with whom I became great friends, I happened to obtain access into a monastery well known among the followers of the Mahometan religion, and I availed myself of the hospitality of the good brothers.

Once, after a talk with some of the brothers of this monastery about the nature and quality of human faith, and the consequences of the action of its impulse on man, I, under the influence of this discourse, became still further convinced that I must abide by my decision and profit immediately by this opportunity in this very monastery.
Retiring into isolation that very evening, I put myself into the necessary state and began seriously meditating upon my situation and future conduct.

<...> I still became clearly and absolutely convinced that the answers for which I was looking, and which in their totality might throw light on this cardinal question of mine, can only be found, if they are at all accessible to man, in the sphere of "man's-subconscious-mentation".

Then I became firmly convinced also that, for this purpose, it was indispensable for me to perfect my knowledge of all the details of the formation as well as of the mechanism of the manifestation of man's general psyche.

Arriving at this categorical conclusion, I began again, for several days and in my habitual manner, to think and think almost uninterruptedly about what should be done in order to create requisite and satisfactory worldly conditions making possible the study of such an unexpected problem.

<...>

During these uninterrupted peregrinations of mine from place to place, and almost continuous and intense reflection about this, I at last formed a preliminary plan in my mind.

Liquidating all my affairs and mobilizing all my material and other possibilities, I began to collect all kinds of written literature and oral information, still surviving among certain Asiatic peoples, about that branch of science, which was highly developed in ancient times and called ''Mehkeness'', a name signifying the ''taking-away-of-responsibility", and of which contemporary civilisation knows but an insignificant portion under the name of "hypnotism", while all the literature extant upon the subject was already as familiar to me as my own five fingers.

Collecting all I could, I went to a certain Dervish monastery, situated likewise in Central Asia and where I had already stayed before, and, settling down there, I devoted myself wholly to the study of the material in my possession.

After two years of thorough theoretical study of this branch of science, when it became necessary to verify practically certain indispensable details, not as yet sufficiently elucidated by me in theory, of the mechanism of the functioning of man's subconscious sphere, I began to give myself out to be a "healer'' of all kinds of vices and to apply the results of my theoretical studies to them, affording them at the same time, of course, real relief.

This continued to be my exclusive preoccupation and manifestation for four or five years in accordance with the essential oath imposed by my task, which consisted in rendering conscientious aid to sufferers, in never using my knowledge and practical power in that domain of science except for the sake of my investigations, and never for personal or egotistical ends, I not only arrived at unprecedented practical results without equal in our day, but also elucidated almost everything necessary for me.

This time my reflections, which recurred periodically during the two years of my wanderings on the continents of Asia, Europe and Africa, resulted in a decision to make use of my exceptional, for the modern man, knowledge of the so-called "supernatural sciences", as well as of my skill in producing different "tricks" in the domain of these so-called "sciences", and to give myself out to be, in these pseudo-scientific domains, a so-called "professor-instructor".

It must be said that the main reason for this decision was my realisation of the fact that, at that time, there was, among men, a widely prevalent and specific psychosis which, as has been long established, attains periodically a high degree and is manifested by people giving themselves up to various "woeful" ideas in these spheres of quasi-human knowledge, which, in different epochs, bore different names, and which today are called "occultism", "theosophism", "spiritualism", etc.

From the moment of this decision I directed all my capacities and attention to coming into contact with people belonging to one or other of these vast organizations, where people foregathered in an attempt to reach certain special results by studying one sort or another of the above-mentioned "sciences''.

The ensuing circumstances of my life were so favourable to me that, within six months, I succeeded not only in coming into contact with a great number of these people, but even in being accepted as a well-known "expert" and guide in evoking so-called "phenomena-of-the-beyond" in a very large "circle", as they called it.

After I had been "acclimatised" to my new calling, my reputation among all the members of the aforesaid "circle" and even among their families became that of a great "maestro" in all that comprised supernatural knowledge. At the time of these so-called "manipulations" in the realm of the beyond, which I performed in the presence of a large number of members of one of the numerous, widespread, then as today upon Earth, "workshops-for-the-perfection-of-psychopathism", a name I now openly call them, I began to observe and study various manifestations in the waking state of the psyche of these trained and freely moving "Guinea-Pigs", allotted to me by Destiny for my experiments.

<...>

To make use of people, who display a special interest in an Institute founded by me, for purely personal ends would surely strike those around me as a manifestation of '' egotism ''… <...>


I shall not now write in detail of the consequences which will result if my request is not carried out; these I have elucidated and verified by my own long observation and statistical calculations. I shall only say here that, for certain people, a reading of my writings in any other than the indicated order (no matter if the reader has long been a follower of my ideas or has become one recently), can provoke undesirable phenomena in their general psyche, one of which in particular might paralyse forever the possibility of normal self-perfection.

<...>

Long before that period of my life, when I consciously decided, under special oath, for a definite time to manifest myself and react to the manifestations of the people I met in a certain manner, acting for many years, as I have already noted, as professional hypnotist, although I tried as much as possible, while exercising my profession, to keep under the control of my consciousness the undesirable manifestations of my nature, in spite of this, there gradually formed within me, proceeding far beyond the control of my active consciousness, certain automatic influences upon people around me during their waking as well as their hypnotic state.

<...>

In this way, creating in my consciousness, which had previously acquired a good stability, not without unceasing struggle with the weaknesses inherent in my nature, I maintained almost always in relation to everyone I met without distinction the aforesaid benevolent impulse ; helping them, for instance, with useful advice, money, and things essential for life, such as food, letters of recommendation, etc.; as a result, however, of all my observations and enquiries, I most definitely established that all these good deeds of mine did not arouse in them recognition of all my kindness, but, on the contrary, formed in all of them a feeling toward me of evident unfriendliness which was due to the fact that, according to the abovementioned principle, I did not take into consideration and react to the influence of the "variously-tinted" impulses, which arose in them as a result of the psychic factor common to man today.

In all this, the most curious fact, in my opinion, and one capable of rousing in man a great many reflections, is the one established and verified by me in all its aspects, and which appears to be lawful as well, to the effect that if, in relation to any one of those already harbouring against me such unfriendliness, when I deliberately increased my inner benevolence, increasing proportionally, of course, at the same time the aforesaid "fault-finding", this unfriendliness increased in all cases without exception and reached a manifest hostility toward me.

<...>

I categorically affirm that the happiness and self-consciousness, which should be in a real man, as well as in a peaceful communal existence between people (leaving aside and not attempting to analyse here the numerous other causes which exist in our lives through no fault of our own), depend in most cases exclusively on the absence in us of the feeling of "Vanity".

<...>

The devices of my artificial influence were threefold:

The first I influenced by means of almost uninterrupted, kindly-mentioned persuasions and conscientious exhortations; the second I influenced by threats of the terrible future awaiting him, and the third by means of various hypnotic suggestions.

<...>

… I might not be wholly dependent on others, and that I might have the possibility by the help of the money thus realized to put on foot the publication and spreading abroad of my writings as I thought fit, I set about the arranging of this mortgage not as any person more or less familiar with Parisian ways would have done, i. e. by simply entrusting the affair to the nearest lawyer, but, with the intention of forming such on experimental field, entrusted the affair rather to a whole series of special offices existing for this purpose, as well as to private "commission-agents" and "sub-commission agents".

<...>

I was enriched to the maximum with material for writing on a countless number of different themes, capable of composing in their totality an important literary work, more extensive even perhaps than "Beelzebub's Tales to His Grandson", and called this time, for example, "Dreams and Fantasies of People in the Twentieth Century".

Two other sad consequences must be mentioned with reference to my real situation: the first was that I was forced, during that period, to abandon those places in Paris to which I had become accustomed, and to interrupt often in this way the regular tempo of my thoughts, which were devoted to my given task, because, from the day I had recourse to the aforesaid offices and private persons, the expansion of my "experimental-field" began to assume such proportions, as a result apparently of the general crisis, that within two or three days I was obliged to do so for fear of being, so to speak, finally "sucked dry''; and the second was in that my extravagant idea cost me in the end a goodly sum of French francs and German marks.

<...>

Where the first is concerned, I had in mind that "commandment" already sanctified by the ages for the peaceful and happy existence of communities and which is thus expressed in words: "One-hand-washes-another''.

<...>

<...> I then satisfied, with complete honesty on my side, your curiosity, and sometimes even perhaps your love of knowledge, you acquired imperceptibly from yourself and have now in your individuality: first of all, the necessary feeling of "self-valuation", which gives you the possibility of feeling yourself superior to the average man, and, secondly, you have in you the preliminary required data for entering with the help of my detailed and written explanations and indications upon the path leading to real Being.

I think I have the right to ask from you still more, namely, that you, as people more or less familiar with my language and the form taken by my thought, as well as with my original manner of exposition, should first attempt yourselves, without any of that "philosophising" common to contemporary people, to understand the various axioms illuminated by me in these first books and which in their interrelation form the very essence of the whole of this series of my impartial writings, and should then devote the whole of yourself, for a definite period, to aiding by your explanations the understanding of them by other of the sons of Our Common Father, who have strayed like you and who lack as a result, as you in your inner world, all perseverance in regard to objective truths of whatsoever nature.

As I was obliged to address this first circular letter principally to people who have already come into direct relation to me, I should like to profit by this opportunity and to express in conclusion in the name of future generations as well as personally my sincere gratitude to those of the people coming into contact with me during the twenty-year-period of life mentioned in the "Herald-Of-Coming-Good", who have through many years — without their knowledge — served me as objects of my observations and investigations of the processes going on in them of crystallisation and decrystallisation of those psychic factors, the transformation of which for the acquiring of subjectivised manifestation demands a comparatively lengthy period.

I consider it my moral duty to add here that these observations and investigations of mine in the past cannot henceforth serve as the reason why these people, who have served as the objects of my investigation, should now have lost the possibility of entering together with others upon the true path and of attaining — by the help of my detailed and written explanations — to real Being.

For the automatic elimination from the general entity of the above-mentioned people of all psychic factors, capable of impeding the whole hearted devotion of self to newly based work for the attainment of the predetermined Higher Being, which must necessarily be kin to man, and for the elimination likewise of some resulting and so-called ''bitter-dregs'' in relation to me as a personality, I think it is necessary to say only the following:

— Believe me, during the whole period of my relations with you, my inner world never harboured either egotistical or altruistic impulses, and there existed only, always and in everything, the exclusive desire to prepare in all perfection for the future generations the science of the "Objective-Truth-Of-Reality".

<...>

At the moment the first book of the first series is already being set up and printed in the Russian, French, English and German colloquial languages; translations are already being finished in the Armenian, Spanish, Turkish and Swedish languages.

So far the books of the first series are being printed only in France; in the near future it is proposed to begin printing in Germany, America and Persia.

For the retail sale of the first edition of the books of this first series I fix the price — irrespective of the place of sale — at 200 French francs.

<...>

<...> There is due to take place, as also happened for the first time eleven years ago, a solemn laying of the foundation stone of the new building, which already, in its first form, was, on account of its significance, considered and ought henceforth all the more to be considered as it were as the heart of all my activity for the good of my neighbours and which was known to all who ever visited the Chateau du Prieure under the name of "Gymnasium" or, as it was called by the English and Americans, " Study-House".

This time, the final building, answering as it does in every respect to its appellation will be situated in the very centre of the big park.

The new "Gymnasium" or "Study-House" will comprise, besides the theatre and lecture hall which already existed, on the first and basement floors several independent laboratories, fitted out according to all the achievements of modern science, and in the number of which will be found three as yet inexistent on Earth, namely the "Magnetic-Astral", the "Thoughthanbledzoin" and Mentaloetherowinged; above will be the also fabulous, astronomical observatory fitted out with all devices for applying all the laws known on Earth in various ages for the refraction and reflection of rays and for the magnifying of the visibility by means of mediumistic properties.

This building will be fitted out also with other inventions, which I long ago constructed and which are already known to many, though they have not been as yet exploited, and among which are to be found: The "Luminous-Key-Board" and the "Retro-Rebounding-Echoraising-Organ".

Secondly, from the first of June of this year will be established again the interrupted activity of the Institute organized at that time, though it is being reestablished on other foundations and even under an altogether different name, but appearing in its totality as the result of its realization at that time.

There will be re-established also in its full intensity that activity which is so unusual in modern times and which was first interrupted in 1924 as a result of the serious injuries which I received in my motor accident, and also later as a result of my decision to devote myself wholly for a definite period to activity as a writer.

I have now decided, in this first booklet to be published by me and which might also be called, as they used to say in ancient times, "Habarchi ", i. e. "town-crier", because it proclaims, above all, in the hearing of all the coming on God's Earth in sequent order of the already weighty, and all-and-everything illuminating volumes written by me, to announce this also in order that — in time for such an impending event which is so significant for the fundamental aim of my life — information about it might have time to reach as great a number of people as possible who participated the first time in the arrangement and opening of the initial activity of the Institute founded by me and to call up in them: — in some, whose actions were at that time based upon a desire for good and happiness not only for themselves, but also for their neighbours, a proud-and-joyful satisfaction; in others, whose every intention and manifestation was founded upon, as they, too, will now themselves in all probability confess with an impulse of remorse, only their purely-slavish egotism and criminal laziness, — shame and repentance.

And may this my new beginning be in harmony with all the three embodied Blessed Forces of OUR COMMON FATHER. Amen.


Paris, 1933


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