"Let's get esoteric. If you know what I mean."

[kopernick]

Waldorf and I have found the political philosophy / political theory pick-up line contest to be a resounding success. Before announcing the winners, however, the OxLawyers have insisted that we print the following disclaimer:

These pick-up lines are intended for entertainment value only. OxBlog and its authors take no responsibility for any slaps to the face, kicks to the posterior, knees to the groin, or other forms of violence resulting from actual use of these lines.
Right, now that that's out of the way, on to the winners! Waldorf and I decided to print a lot of them (but by no means all, or even most -- we had a lot of participation!) because many were just too ... something ... not to run.

Oldies But Goodies: The Ancients

Stentor Danielson weighs in with a somewhat mixed Platonic metaphor: "Hey baby, your Form casts a nice shadow on the wall of my cave." (Alas, no one explored the potential of puppets and caves.)

Mel Kreitzer adds "My lever is long enough, and I can move your world," which he claims was in regular use in ancient Greece.

The Moderns

The Armed Liberal did send in: "You know, we could just sit in front of the fire, drink white wine, and discuss Machiavelli's deep thinking about the falling amount of virtu in the world...".

Kevin Drum offers undoubtedly one of the more explicit entries (one of the more explicit ones that I'm printing, that is -- you wouldn't believe some of the ones that didn't make it ... ) with his gloss on Hobbes: "Hey, babe, life is nasty, brutish, and short. But where it counts, I'm only nasty and brutish."

Peter Northup adds a Lockean twist: "Baby, in the state of nature with me, you'll soon find yourself making an appeal to heaven."

Ben Sheriff makes the inevitable Rousseau reference: "Man is everywhere born free, but come home with me and I'll show you some interesting possibilities with chains..."

And Dan Drezner offers up some Adam Smith: "Virtue is more to be feared than vice, because its excesses are not subject to the regulation of conscience. So let us go now, you and I, and test our consciences to their fullest extent."

But, I have to say, one of my very favorites comes from Kieran Healy. His Burkean pick-up line is truly classy: "It is now sixteen or seventeen years since I saw the queen of France, then the dauphiness, at Versailles; and surely never lighted on this orb, which she hardly seemed to touch, a more delightful vision. Until now." If I'm ever at a meeting of the Theory Section of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy, I'm trying that one out ...

On the slightly less classy side, Arthur has a line for the Kantians: "It is categorically imperative that I treat your end, and not only as a means."

Picking up the Proles: Marx

Perhaps unsurprisingly, we had quite a number of Marx-based submissions. A number were along the lines of Sasha Castel's "Want to see my means of production?" And there was David's "Hey baby, I turned Hegel on his head. So how about letting me get you on your back?" But my favorite was submitted anonymously: "Baby, how about 'in place of the old ... seclusion and self-sufficiency, we have intercourse in every direction'?" (All of that after the words "Baby, how about" being an actual quote from the Communist Manifesto).

The Twentieth Century

Josh Cherniss goes Heideggerian with, "How would like to experience having-been-thrown-into-the-world-ness as you've never experienced it before?" and then compounds the offense by noting that "this has never been known to work with anyone except Hannah Arendt ..." Ouch! Sadly, no one explored the possibilities of das Man.

Matthew Mantel, with apologies to Sartre, offers a virtuosic display of smoothness: "Hell is other people. Except you, you're different."

Matthew plays on Berlin's play on Kant: "I'll have you know that I am living proof that not all timbers of humanity are crooked." But better, in my opinion, is the anonymously submitted, "I noticed you're a Fox. Can I be your Hedgehog?"

Brett Marston gets Straussian: "Let's get esoteric. If you know what I mean."

And despite the injunction against using "original position," Rawls got quite a workout. Ezra, among others, offered: "I'd sure love a peek under your veil of ignorance, baby." Chris Bertram suggests: "We both share the concept ... lets work out a conception together." And an anonymous reader came up with my favorite two Rawlsian lines: "Hey--you've got a great bundle of primary goods. It'll only be fair if you share them" and "I'd give you my public justification, but it's much better in private."

Only two people took me up on my challenge to use the phrase "colonization of the lifeworld": James Joyner, who seductively asks, "How about you and me ditch this crazy System and begin the colonization of the lifeworld?" and Timothy P. Waligore, who wonders, "Is it a mythical worldview to think I can colonize your lifeworld?"

Brett also seduces the Walzerians with, "I like your spheres of justice," and Waligore knows how to talk to the Nagel fans: "There's no view from nowhere, but a webcam will do." And last, but certainly not least, an anonymous reader demands of G.A. Cohen, "If you're an egalitarian, how come you're so picky?"


http://oxblog.blogspot.com/2003_06_01_oxblog_archive.html#95365170